That One Guy At The Gas Station

While at the gas station this morning I saw that one guy. That one guy that makes you happy that it’s daytime. That one guy you see and think to yourself, “God I’m glad there are other people around”. That guy you see that makes you happy you’re over the age of 18, which is obviously out of his sexual preference for demographics.

When I saw him I instantly thought, “Huh, that would make a great Halloween costume.” Only instead of going to parties or trick-or-treating as that guy, just sit on the porch, pants unzipped, and the bowl of candy in my lap. Instantly after I had this thought, I reminded myself that there is a big difference between dressing up as a sex offender, and actually partaking in sex offender-like activities.

Lesson from this story, Halloween costumes are a gateway. First you’re dressing up as a sex offender. The next thing you know, you’re playing the popcorn trick with a bag of candy on little 6 year old Susie. Don’t dress up as anything you aren’t prepared to turn into.

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Truth About Halloween

Truth About Halloween

That’s not mine officer!

Proper or Not?

I’ve been attempting to convince my fiancĂ© to let me put a “Free Candy” sign on the side of the minivan for Halloween. I don’t see why this is a bad idea.

Best Halloween Costume Ever

Best Halloween Costume Ever

The title says it all. One problem, it only works for women. Men, don’t try this at home. People may confuse you for Jerry Sandusky.

Homicide Pumpkin

Homicide Pumpkin

Trick-or-treat now Timmy. Trick-or-treat now…

Iron Man

Iron Man

Way too much time on your hands if you’re creating Iron Man out of pumpkins.

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